Snow day

I really loved this ted talk. It really hit home for me, because I have always been a nature person. I have always loved to explore creeks and look at every kind of living animal and think they are all cute. I climbed trees and could sit in them for hours, or could stay on the beach from morning to night. I can't kill bugs and I will go out of my way to take them outside. I love watching the clouds and the sunset and especially the stars (which I will really miss in new york next year).
My favorite part of this talk was the old man who talked about living each day as if it was you first and your last, and then it will have really been a good day. Watching the beautiful images and hearing him say this really made a feeling of peace settle over me. It made me want to be better, and to forget the hurts of my past and live for the happiness of the present. It is often hard to stick with this mantra, but it is good when ideas like that can resonate within you and encourage you to follow them.

He's just not that into you

Scarlett Johansson's character Anna is not a totally honest person because she is willing to get into a relationship with someone who is already in a relationship. This shows that she has low self-esteem because she accepts someone who isn't fully committed to her. I also think she is naive for thinking that she can change a man who is willing to cheat on his wife- a woman who her clearly loved at another point in his life. The idea of changing a person for yourself is somewhat narcissistic, because you believe that something about you will make you more important than the woman he decided to marry the first time. I know many people who put themselves into situations like this and relationships where they expect to change someone for the better, and most of the time nothing changes. it is sad to see people get hurt by relationships like this, just like Anna does when she gets the realization that Ben really has a wife that he is still in a relationship with.
Gigi is desperate to make a connection with any guy that is willing, and is constantly reading into the signs of reasons he might not like you. I myself and all my friends have done this at one time or another, because especially in high school relationships, its often uncommon for the guy to just decide to "make it happen" and ask you out. We don't really do trial dates, where people hang out just to see if they are compatible. I have friends who obsess over every guy and constantly look for signs or try to pick out the positive actions and words from an overall negative guy who is clearly not in it for a relationship. I think the way she goes about things is naive, and can lead to real hurt in the end if she ran into the wrong type of guy who misused her vulnerability and romanticism.
Mary and Conor are both genuine characters who really value interaction and are great together. She wasn't rushing and desperate to find someone because she felt overwhelmed by the idea of keeping up incessant technological contact.  She is surprisingly cute and charming in person, and her brightness makes her a very appealing person. Conor pours himself into Anna because he is confused by the signals she gives him and he is really looking to make that connection to move into a serious relationship. When she ends the relationship, he is able to move on in a healthy way, and puts himself back out there. He finds Mary and the two hit it off because they are both personable characters who give what they really feel and put effort into relationships. This couple reminds me of the successful relationships I have seen with parents and friends because they are two people that seem down-to-earth and realistic about relationship expectations.
Beth and Neil have my favorite relationship, because it shows that marriage is not the ultimate definition of a good relationship. Ben and Janine have an unhealthy marriage, while Beth and Neil have a beautiful, committed, caring relationship. The two are there for each other when the other needs supports, and have a touching closeness. They are comfortable with each other and have been happy for a long time together. At the end of the movie, both are willing to compromise their beliefs for their love of the other person- Neil proposes, and Beth is willing to stay with him even if marriage is taken off the table. They remind me of my and some of my friends parents, who have been together through thick and thin, and have made sacrifices and compromises for each other throughout the years.
These relationships have given me some insight and personal thought on what i consider a healthy relationship. This relates to our course, because our course pushes identifying with our own values, and how they contrast or coincide with the churches values. I think I value a relationship like Beth and Neil's the most, and in addition, like the church, I also value the concept of a committed marriage and the effort to start and raise a family.

Perspectives on Marriage

I think my parents and grandparents both have marriages for which I aspire. In both relationships, I have seen serious commitment, love, and a true friendship and ability to have fun. They have raised strong, close families, and I don't see many aspects that are negative. I am sure my marriage will be personal and different because we are different people, but there is no particular aspect of their marriage that I can specifically point out as something I know I would want to do different. I hope to marry my best friend- someone who makes me happy at even my lowest moments, and someone for whom I feel a strong desire to take care of. I want the work in our relationship to be done towards compromise on money and children and important life decisions, but I do not want to have to work at loving the other person. I want my care for him to feel completely natural.
The book presents some views of marriage from ancient times and the Old Testament that I completely disagree with. Concubines, subordination, and loveless marriages were all considered acceptable practices in the past, and I think these practices undermine the strength of the bond of marriage. Fidelity is a full commitment of oneself to another person that enables you to grow together both body and soul. Having an equal partnership allows both husband and wife to bring what they have to offer to the relationship, and enables them to make important decision together. Love helps couples stick together through thick and thin, and make selfless decisions for the other person that benefit their marriage and themselves as people in the end.

A New Vision for the Church

I think Pope Francis is trying to do great things with the Church. Society has been moving forward at a rate much faster than the Catholic Church has ever followed in the past, and too often I hear the excuse that "things have always been done that way". Pope Francis is advocating for the inclusion of women, a better look at the poor and why they are impoverished, and an open and accepting attitude for all Catholics to adopt in general.
Change cannot be accomplished without an open mind, and I think Pope Francis has one of the most open minds of any Popes we have yet had. I don't see much relation between this document and our society's consumerism, but I suppose changing this attitude is one of the ways we can approach the foundation of poverty. We can also use his views on being open-minded to change to try to fix this skewed view of life's priorities and materialism.

Gray Rape

I read the gray rape article last year, among many other articles I read regarding date rape and slut-shaming in general, for a large presentation I gave in morality on Date rape and the double standard set for women in America. It ended up leading into many questions and discussions that made the presentation last the entire block- which I think emphasizes how controversial, important, and uninformed we are on this issue.
For one, the statistics related to accused rapists, convicted rapists, imprisoned rapists, and falsely accused rapists really give one a lot to think about.

(that's 1000 total)

An extremely low percentage of rapes are false accusations made out of regret by girls. The "Blurred Line" isn't so blurred at all... it should be simple, that if a girl is vulnerable, she shouldn't be taken advantage of. The only blurred line is how this plays out in courts, because it is one person's word against another. I think that the only way to really make a change is to spread the idea of the importance of real consent, and what that means. Sobriety, comfort, etc. 

I also think that while it is nice to say that girls should be able to drink as much as they want and wear whatever they want and be completely safe, that is not yet a reality. Girls need to make sure they stick together, watch out for eachother around guys, and keep an eye on eachother. They should still avoid sketchy situations, and have someone with them who can take care of them in the event of extreme intoxication. 

Some say love...

hat are the qualities and characteristics of love that you seek to experience in dating/committed relationships?  Where do you see these illustrated in music?  Do you believe in the quest for soul mates as described in the article?  Why/why not?

In a committed relationship, I expect to experience several things. I expect to experience a mutually strong connection and care for the other person. I think there should be a sense of responsibility for the direction of the relationship and an understanding that commitment is serious. I think that happiness is extremely important, and both people should feel like they have the potential to be their best and happiest person in the relationship. I see examples of the support love requires in many songs. For one example, Adele's "Make You Feel My Love" references the unconditional support and love one person can give to another when they are feeling down or need care. Carrie Underwood's "I Told You So" talks about being hopeful that someone's love will accept them back and forgive them after they made the mistake of leaving. I think in love someone should be confident that they could be happy with the other person for the rest of their life. In Christina Perri's "Thousand Years", she sings about being completely sure  beyond a doubt that she could spend every single day with the man she loves. "I have died every day waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years- I'll love you for a thousand more." I think that on the search for a soulmate people may sometimes lose  someone who they cannot forget, and one of my favorite songs, Ed Sheeran's "Give me Love" talks about not being able to get over a girl and after time apart only needing her more than ever. With this comes the idea that you could have lost your soulmate.. aka finding someone who is perfect for you doesn't mean it has to be all rainbows and butterflies along the way. I agree that people aren't willing enough to work on their relationships- we can't expect one person to provide all the emotional nourishment we need, just as we don't expect ourselves to be complete emotional satisfaction for another person. My favorite song, John Mayer's "Slow Dancing In a burning Room" talks about two people who used to be completely in love but can see their relationship falling apart. "I was the one you always dreamed of, you were the one I tried to draw.." and "We're going down, And you can see it too. We're going down, And you know that we're doomed- my dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room."  I think too many people think that once they find that perfect relationship, that's it. Things can really change over time, and I think that part of love is learning to love in different ways through the years and different life circumstances. I agree with the article's idea of looking for a great mate- someone with similar values, who makes you a better person, and someone you can consider you best friend, while still maintaining other healthy relationships outside of marriage.